pulled out my wisdom teeth on tuesday

i know, i know.  i'm a little late in the game but the thing is, my mom doesn't have any wisdom teeth and my dad never needed to take his out.  so i grew up with both my parents saying that i don't need wisdom teeth removal.

it was only through my annual dental exams that i saw my wisdom teeth shifting and tilting. finally, i realized my blue moon dull jaw aches on my left side was likely due to the wisdom tooth knocking against my back molar.  as a person who had braces twice (i had really big teeth, so they couldn't fit everything in my jaw...4th grade (phase 3), 7th grade (phase 2)) and invisalign (grad school--my teeth moved around after i lost my retainer...), i definitely didn't want the wisdom teeth to be shifting my entire teeth and ruining $10k+ worth of my parent's work!

so i got it removed after waiting about 3 years from the initial dental referral back in California.  i was nervous as hell, as i don't tolerate pain very well.  the surgeon was great, the staff was great, alex was great, but i wasn't great.  i didn't do well with the anesthesia.  apparently, after the surgery was finished, my blood pressure dropped and i couldn't walk properly--things were spinning, felt nauseous the whole time, and i couldn't focus my eyes, i felt like a chameleon).  what was supposed to be an hour visit, ended up being four hours and i was on constant watch.  i had IV saline injected into me and i threw up three times (i absolutely abhor throwing up, but it always makes me feel better).

anyhow...

thought i would be super productive and pursuing the things i wanted to do with my 6 days off, but realized i couldn't concentrate on anything.  i was either drugged up to relieve the pain or suffering in pain.  being by myself just magnified it even more, being with others or talking with others on the phone muted it.

for someone who multi-tasks and loves to check off things to do from her list, it was a slow and aggravating time.  i couldn't even muster up energy to fold laundry--i was in too much pain.  they just laid there, on the couch. sad and deflated, wondering who will pack them away crisply into the drawers....*shrug* prob alex :D

things i realized through this experience:
1. get your wisdom teeth out early, so that you can heal better and faster
2. tasting is great and all, but great food experience comes with chewing.  i totally miss chewing food--the textures, rolling it around in my mouth...even though i had some great pancakes, it didn't taste like much because i wasn't chewing!
3. i love to cook.  i felt true sadness in that i wasn't able to cook... i realized how much i loved cooking and how much i wanted to eat normally again.  i love the sound of oil sizzling, water boiling, chopping of fresh greens, poking at meats to see how well it is done, the smells, the colors...*sigh* sup congee.
4. i watched probably 10+ hours of youtube everyday.  i attempted to draw, but being distracted by something else than my own creative power was much better at soothing the pain.
5. im so glad to have dentist friends and a community.  i had a church friend swing by to deliver homemade porridge, probiotic ice creams and apple sauce!  my dental friends were very helpful with my apprehension about symptoms and the whole process, and checking up on my progress--they were also so helpful for alex's crazy teeth problems, too (i can't even).  hopefully our friends can rely on us when it comes to eye health vision related problems.
6. my only accomplishments for the past few days: sending out christmas gifts and booking a trip to Hawaii for my parents :) i always wanted to send them on a nice vacation as a token of my appreciation in supporting me through schooling and been so incredibly patient through my growing-pains journey in becoming a working professional.  getting married and supporting alex did get in the way of my initial plans to send them, but i am so happy and excited that i finally can do it!
7. i thought i would be losing weight and exercising well everyday, but instead ive been gaining weight and PMS isn't helping with the diet.  i realized all the healthy food require great chewing and great teeth!  ive been resorting to tofu everyday because i refuse to eat any more ice cream and super carbs of mashed potatoes and porridges.   but uh, eating (just swallowing, rather...) pancakes in the morning is quite nice!
8. i haven't pooped much.  i miss fiber food that i can CHEW CHEW CHEW.  i miss pooping normally.  uh, sorry for ending on that note.

how der hail do women go back to work after giving birth to kids the next week after??  or even take care of their kids at home after giving birth few days earlier??????  mamas are the strongest humans, i tell ya.

drawing style

something bill watterson and i have in common! :)

"but i loved the expressive drawings, and charles schulz's economy of line perfect suited my lack of patience and minimal drawing skills"
- bill watterson

i love jean jacques sempe and bill watterson

other inspos:
- asterix
- little nemo in slumberland
- hayao miyazaki
- tintin
- sinfest

story of my life

spare time

There is no fear in love.

But perfect love dries out fear,
because fear has to do with punishment.
The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
- 1 John 4:18



I know, Lord, your perfect love destroys my hidden fears.
I know it requires time alone with you.
Let me enjoy your love-light, which expels every trace of my fears and doubts.

Early marriage is a battleground in which two families send their best warriors to determine which family’s culture will direct the couple’s lives.

If these two made a love child

....the child would look exactly like me.

Worklife

So my period has been irregular for over a year likely due to pretty bad stress.  But when I look at my optician who works two full time jobs  from 8 am till, at times, 4 am--I'm like, "What stress???"  Occasionally she works for 36 hours straight with a one hour nap in the car.  She says she has to in order to support her two children and herself.  How does she do that?  How can life be so unbelievably hard for some and so ridiculously easy for others? 
I would catch her taking a smoke every so often, but who can blame her?  She needs an outlet...

When you want to go to lunch, but...

I had a 26 year old African patient right before lunch who didnt speak English well and said she had difficulty seeing at a distance even with her thick thick glasses she got prescribed at Wills.  The lenses were poking out like a ledge from her frames.  She said school was on hold bc she couldn't even up close to read.  GAH.  LUNCH IS LITERALLY A HAIR AWAY, RIGHT AT MY FINGERTIPS.  MY PRECIOUS BREAK TIME..!!
...
I dilated her anyway to relax her eyes.

I'm sure she has amblyopia due to her high hyperopia...but gonna try making her see as best as she can so she can learn and read!!  Ugh, I always take sight for granted, even though I experienced CRVO.  Something as simple as reading is difficult for her even though she has all the potential to learn...

Perks

I love that Wills Eye is right by Chinatown.  I just shop at the Chinese grocer during lunchtime!  Before, I would have to drive at least 20 minutes to get to the nearest Vietnamese / Chinese / Korean grocer, but CHINATOWN IS AMAZING.  The cost is cheap too!

I am also excited to pick up Sankee duck for CNY and feast away at home :)

In the midst of trials, there is always much to be thankful for.  I LOVE THAT WILLS EYE IS RIGHT NEXT TO CHINATOWN <3

Next on my cooking list:
1. Spicy meatball banh mi
2. Cantonese poached chicken with scallion ginger oil
3. Snow pea leaf stir fry
4. Chinese tea eggs
5. Shrimp fried rice
6. Salt and pepper shrimp
7. Ginger Cilantro steamed bass
8. Ginger Scallion tilapia (trying to eat more fish than red meat)
9. Dry fried string beans
10 Tofu black bean sauce

RANDOM THOUGHTS

i love cooking.

i love eggs, anything with eggs, i will love.  i am like bubba and his shrimps. i.love.eggs.
i think they look so cute, too.  these days, i see daikons/radishes are being so adorable.

i love...
...blistered shishito peppers with sea salt shards
...perfectly cooked steak with lots of garlic, salt, pepper and a sprig of fragrant rosemaries
...clear broth pho, tastes so amazing
...

things to learn...
1. vietnamese pickled carrots and radishes
2. chicken casserole
3. cast iron pot recipes