things that make me happy lately

1. nice socks - oh my love for asian socks
2. jams - they look like jewels
3. fabric patterns - like a moth to a flame, how i adore the ones on etsy!
4. a small brown bag of satsuma's from whole foods

Passing thought

Alex reminded me the other day, how he was surprised when I told him (this was during our early dating stage) that I wanted us to go through something very difficult because we know how to overcome things together and make our relationship stronger--perhaps going through a desert or missions together. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA.

Obnoxious laugh, but truly.  WHAT A FUNNY PERSON I WAS.

The past three years was an indescribably hot crucible that refined us and burned off the ugly dross to make the relationship between us and GOD stronger.  I felt as though God really took my words into serious consideration and thought it was an opportune time to drop in hardship to know Him and rely on Him more.

God has a sense of humor.
Just like the time I was bawling that my dad was underestimating my career abilities by suggesting me to become an optometrist instead of a medical doctor.
Just like the time I haughtily said that Korean men were no good and that I'd marry someone Chinese or Taiwanese.
Just like the time I made a promise to myself that I never wanted to marry someone in the same health field as me, but someone who can contribute to the marriage with something I did not know like financial savviness or engineering abilities.

I must be careful of what I say.  I keep saying I want a daughter, I should start saying I want a son.

Still blogging

We are more settled in now.  Everything arrived and more things were purchased.  Spent well over $5k within the past month because we were eating out, buying more furniture/home goods, paying rent, getting malpractice insurance and some splurging on my birthday.

I caught a cold the night before my birthday--I hadn't had good sleep for the past month and it was really really cold in HMart!  My face was hot and my body couldn't really tell if it was hot or cold.  I took a really hot bath and drained out all my congestion for a good 20 minutes.  It came back when I was sweating from the heat and wanted some cool air.

Sunday was nice, we went to visit Onnuri which was a very small EM service with much younger folks (ie. college - young young adults).  Alex and I were the oldest couple there haha.  Wondering if God desires us to help guide the younger folk... we are praying about it.  I am uncertain if we should be choosing a PCA established church or see where-ever God plants us.  Like our beloved Mrs. Oh said, "We are PKPC missionaries." :)

I had several nice desserts from Dominique Ansel, Laudree and Sprinkles to celebrate my birthday despite sniveling and barely tasting the goods :) Luckily, Alex had treated me to an early birthday with a very delicious and best omakase experience I've ever had about a week before (when I could taste things properly and my nose was not plugged!).

Much errands to do, still, but a lot of my hobbies are coming into fruition.  My thoughts on having children is still on a balance beam--wondering if I am still too immature or selfish to give my entire being to a little one.  Alex recommended me to spend this year, while he was training in fellowship, to really pursue my drawing endeavors.  Sarah bought me a sewing machine because I always wanted to make clothes. Alex bought me three large canvas' to paint, and several of my friends encouraged me to really make "Strawings" into a full time thing.  Looking through instagram really disables me from drawing more--there are just so many talented people, and the things I want to do, people have already done.  Alex repeatedly told me to get off of social media and just draw, paint, create...practice practice...

It's hard to get off of social media because I still want to know how my friends are doing, what is going on in this world these days, good deals that are going on--and to be honest, a bit of FOMO (ugh how embarrassing)? I do like the idea very much from unplugging--much more things I can be doing, thinking that are of my own...hmm.

Portos

After Priscilla's lovely wedding and have two helpings of her guava wedding cake..I was craving guava baked goods since then.  I saw that Portos has frozen baked goods that I can just pop in my oven...AND EAT!

HOW DELIGHTFUL!

I will definitely make sure Alex let's me get the Breville Toaster Oven (hopefully the airfryer one, bc...I really really just want one). 

#thelittlethings
#justkidding
the toaster oven is definitely not a little thing...it's over $300.

IM BACK!

sorta.

I'm in Los Angeles.  Sun is great. Food is great. Friends are great. I miss PKPC...

Can't believe residency is finally over.
Onto fellowship...

Here begins my fast from social media (likely to be temporary, but let's see what more I can do aside from wasting my youth on my phone)!
Hoping to read more, watch more thoughtful movies, draw more, write more, cook/bake more,...be a more loving and understanding person.  Be more grateful. Be more happy--more joyful, actually.

Here we go!

celine wallet

why do they all look like adorable shades of chocolate bars????

pulled out my wisdom teeth on tuesday

i know, i know.  i'm a little late in the game but the thing is, my mom doesn't have any wisdom teeth and my dad never needed to take his out.  so i grew up with both my parents saying that i don't need wisdom teeth removal.

it was only through my annual dental exams that i saw my wisdom teeth shifting and tilting. finally, i realized my blue moon dull jaw aches on my left side was likely due to the wisdom tooth knocking against my back molar.  as a person who had braces twice (i had really big teeth, so they couldn't fit everything in my jaw...4th grade (phase 3), 7th grade (phase 2)) and invisalign (grad school--my teeth moved around after i lost my retainer...), i definitely didn't want the wisdom teeth to be shifting my entire teeth and ruining $10k+ worth of my parent's work!

so i got it removed after waiting about 3 years from the initial dental referral back in California.  i was nervous as hell, as i don't tolerate pain very well.  the surgeon was great, the staff was great, alex was great, but i wasn't great.  i didn't do well with the anesthesia.  apparently, after the surgery was finished, my blood pressure dropped and i couldn't walk properly--things were spinning, felt nauseous the whole time, and i couldn't focus my eyes, i felt like a chameleon).  what was supposed to be an hour visit, ended up being four hours and i was on constant watch.  i had IV saline injected into me and i threw up three times (i absolutely abhor throwing up, but it always makes me feel better).

anyhow...

thought i would be super productive and pursuing the things i wanted to do with my 6 days off, but realized i couldn't concentrate on anything.  i was either drugged up to relieve the pain or suffering in pain.  being by myself just magnified it even more, being with others or talking with others on the phone muted it.

for someone who multi-tasks and loves to check off things to do from her list, it was a slow and aggravating time.  i couldn't even muster up energy to fold laundry--i was in too much pain.  they just laid there, on the couch. sad and deflated, wondering who will pack them away crisply into the drawers....*shrug* prob alex :D

things i realized through this experience:
1. get your wisdom teeth out early, so that you can heal better and faster
2. tasting is great and all, but great food experience comes with chewing.  i totally miss chewing food--the textures, rolling it around in my mouth...even though i had some great pancakes, it didn't taste like much because i wasn't chewing!
3. i love to cook.  i felt true sadness in that i wasn't able to cook... i realized how much i loved cooking and how much i wanted to eat normally again.  i love the sound of oil sizzling, water boiling, chopping of fresh greens, poking at meats to see how well it is done, the smells, the colors...*sigh* sup congee.
4. i watched probably 10+ hours of youtube everyday.  i attempted to draw, but being distracted by something else than my own creative power was much better at soothing the pain.
5. im so glad to have dentist friends and a community.  i had a church friend swing by to deliver homemade porridge, probiotic ice creams and apple sauce!  my dental friends were very helpful with my apprehension about symptoms and the whole process, and checking up on my progress--they were also so helpful for alex's crazy teeth problems, too (i can't even).  hopefully our friends can rely on us when it comes to eye health vision related problems.
6. my only accomplishments for the past few days: sending out christmas gifts and booking a trip to Hawaii for my parents :) i always wanted to send them on a nice vacation as a token of my appreciation in supporting me through schooling and been so incredibly patient through my growing-pains journey in becoming a working professional.  getting married and supporting alex did get in the way of my initial plans to send them, but i am so happy and excited that i finally can do it!
7. i thought i would be losing weight and exercising well everyday, but instead ive been gaining weight and PMS isn't helping with the diet.  i realized all the healthy food require great chewing and great teeth!  ive been resorting to tofu everyday because i refuse to eat any more ice cream and super carbs of mashed potatoes and porridges.   but uh, eating (just swallowing, rather...) pancakes in the morning is quite nice!
8. i haven't pooped much.  i miss fiber food that i can CHEW CHEW CHEW.  i miss pooping normally.  uh, sorry for ending on that note.

how der hail do women go back to work after giving birth to kids the next week after??  or even take care of their kids at home after giving birth few days earlier??????  mamas are the strongest humans, i tell ya.