GRIT.

- failed boards by 2 points.  i knew i had the possibility of failing because i couldnt go back, change, or check my answers due to the glitch.  its just ridiculous if there wasnt a glitch...i would have passed easily...

- still juggling insurance and medical bills.

- staff doctor told me that i am not to par.  i know i am smart, perhaps i feel this subconciousness block that no matter what i do, my skills and knowledge base will not be as good as everyone else in clinic because i took a quarter off.  i need to get rid of that block ASAP.  they are asking me to come in on tuesdays now.  so i will be working 6 days a week.

- driving two hours back and forth to practice for boards 3 that i was supposed to take last quarter is tiresome, especially with the 6 day work days.  but i need to take it before my class graduates.  i really wish i didn't have crvo and take the quarter off...

-co-worker called me out in front of everyone in the lunch room.

A "hey sandra, you look super dressed up today."
S "what do you mean?  it's just clinic attire."
A "you're not wearing jeans."
S "they're black and they said it's okay to wear them if they are dark."
A "they're JEANS."
S "okay."
A "plus you're not wearing that pajama sweater."
S "what?"
A "yeah, i wear that kind of shit to sleep."
then another coworker said "way to call her out."

on a normal day i would have just laughed it off.  but due to the events of the past week, i was NOT having it. it totally came out of the blue!  ive been wearing similar attire for the past three months and no one said anything.  the sweater was a nice cashmere and has a boxy style that my parents bought for me as a christmas gift.  i guess it could look casual, but it was cold and would be covered by my white coat anyway.  i felt so embarrassed because no one said anything, i just took it as though they agreed to his remark.  i left the lunch room with my lunch still on the table.  i felt hot tears start to well up and had to excuse myself quickly before others saw.  arggg so embarrassing, why do i have to be so sensitive today??

i will buy new pants and sweater tonight.




Whatever happens and whatever you do, do not let your heart be hardened.

Oh, and go finish your lunch.