Sunday, October 12, 2014

Notebook entry in...

Late Nov 2013
Being in water is very much like being in a dream.  Movement is slower and harder to  control.  Even if you want to run, your feet are bound to imaginary sand bags.
I have not taken a bath for about year. 
It's always been quick showers and mind preoccupied by what I am to do next.  But over break, I was able to submerge myself completely into hot water.
I would just lie in the bath water, staring upward.  My face and toes are the only ones popping out of the water.
Steam is dense, visible and extends to the cieling.  I blow some air upward and wait for the undisturbed steam to stir.  It makes rippling swirls a few seconds after a powerful exhale in the light.  It is a waltz.
I like my bathroom light and skylight.  I feel like I am in the clouds.  Light, warm yellow and white...
Toss my head side to side and feel my hair undulating.  Sometimes I hold my breath and submerge completely--letting my face run into my hair.  It's soft and controlled in the water.
What do I think of?  Nothing.  I am being cleansed.  Soaked. Physically, mentally.  Sounds impossible but I think this is how a fish is.  Maybe I do think of things but forget it within seconds.  Like a fish, like a dream.
My body is weightless.  My arms and fingers gently afloat.  My breath is louder underwater.  My toes feel their way to the drain...I prepare for my departure.  'Tok.'  I hear the water rush down the thirsty drain. 
I lay still, submerged in water.
The water moves side to side on its own and gradually feels it's way dorsally.  My body begins to take weight.  I feel coolness at every centimeter the water drains.  My hair glues itself onto my head.  My arms are sinking.  My belly is cold.
'Schl-schlooooop!  Schloop.' The drain drinks the last of the water and I am back.    Heavy. Naked.  Looking up at the remaining steam.
"Hoo..."
I blow once more and take in the last dance.

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